It was FINALLY nice enough to be outside for an extended period of time earlier this week, so we took a little walk to Starbucks for coffee and treats. We were happily standing in line when Ben leaned down close to Blake, just trying to be a goof and make him laugh. Within a matter of seconds, Blake got all kinds of excited, leaned forward, grabbed Ben's face, pulled him in to attack him with kisses...and chomped down like he could without consequence back in the day when that smile had teeth that weren't fully cut through. (Which to clarify, was pretty much last week).
And there we were. A devastated 4 year old whose feelings and face were equally damaged...
And a 10 month old smiling from ear to ear because he just attacked his brother with "kisses."
It really was a sad situation. Thankfully, kids are ridiculously resilient so the moment passed pretty quickly.
The teeth marks did not.
Ben has learned to be stealthy about it and moves with ninja-like speed when Blake goes in for the kill. (A feat that he is extremely proud of...I know because I can hear it in his voice when he comes running to me saying "Yes! Mom, I saved my face from Blakey Monster"). And I find myself spending the better portion of Blake's bedtime routine saying "No Blake. Don't bite your brother's face."
When you become a parent, you quickly realize that NOTHING is exactly how you planned it, and (if you are lucky) you learn enjoy parenthood even more for that (most days).
But the path that the four of us go down some days really does throw me for a loop and things that I say as a reaction or an attempt to gain control of the situation catch me off guard. I mean, I never saw myself adding "Don't bite your brother's face" into my nighttime repertoire...but that happened.
I also didn't think I would have to tell my 4 year old that it wasn't acceptable to pee his pants because he was playing a really intense game of basketball.
"I didn't mean to, Mom. I just had to finish my game."
"It's easier to play basketball without pee in your pants."
"It will dry, Mom. Accidents will happen."
(It's always fun when they kind of correctly use a phrase that you use to justify a situation).
I never thought I would walk past my little guy buckled into his car seat, ready to go and say "Ben, please stop tipping your brother upside down and running away."
Although, it is kind of hard to get too angry about it when you have a giggling baby staring (upside down) at you like there is nothing strange going on at all.
I never expected to hear myself say "you know you can only play in the dryer when I am standing here right?"
Or "Stop telling your brother his face smells." Only to follow it up with "I know that formula breath doesn't smell that good, but your chicken nugget breath and boogers in your nose are not much to brag about, either."
Or "Please just poop. Pooping is fun. Everybody does it."
I never expected to have an entire conversation about how it is not nice to walk around holding your nose and causing a scene when someone farts, or about how it isn't nice to walk around saying that it smells like dead animals or popcorn in here.
Actually, I never really thought I would be having a conversation where dead animals, farts and popcorn would be used in the same sentence at all.
And to be completely honest, the number of conversations about poop and farts and things that smell bad is another one I really never envisioned.
I guess as long as I produce boys, that is something that I will have to deal with regularly.
And I guess as long as I'm a mom, I'm going to have a lot of moments spent saying things I never thought I would say.
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